


It Was All For Nothing

by Gzmoii



Series: Worth the Wait (Series) [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: AU, Cheating, M/M, Not A Happy Ending, Prequel to Worth The Wait, Unless You Read Worth The Wait
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 06:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8361874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gzmoii/pseuds/Gzmoii
Summary: He wished he had never met Bucky. He wished he had rejected him the very first time Bucky came up to him, awkward and blushing, during after-school activities in the chem lab. 
  
  
  
  Sam was full of so much regret. He gave Bucky everything and he just wished he hadn’t.
  
  
  
  His first kiss. 
  
  
  
  His first time. 
  
  
  
  He’d lost all of that, for nothing. All it had done was lead up to this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is a prequel to Worth the Wait

“I think I’m in love,” Bucky sighed exaggeratedly, leaning against his locker and placing a hand on his chest, right over his heart.

“You’re such a drama queen. You’ve gotta be kidding me, Buchanan. Love is for schmucks.” Bruce flicked Bucky’s forehead, rolling his eyes. “And if you faint over whoever this mystery man is, I’m leaving you here. We’ve gotta hurry before they close off the science wing.”

“Close it off?” That got Bucky’s attention. “Wait, they can’t close it off! They just got the new astronomy room! I wanted to study the constellations!” Bucky grabbed Bruce by his sleeve and ran down the hallway, taking a peek into the entry room when they reached the science wing and freezing. “That’s him!” he yell-whispered.

“What? Are you talking about Sam?”

Bucky let go of Bruce’s sleeve, going wide eyed. “You know that Adonis?” he asked him.

“Uh…yes? He’s in my AP Biology class.” Bruce shrugged. “I mean yeah, he’s cute, but I don’t see why you’re already head over heels. Obviously, you’ve never said a word to him. And he just started today.”

“Exactly. So, I just have to become his best friend and he’ll fall for me.” Bucky peeked again, walking in and heading over to the front desk to check in once Sam was gone. Bruce followed behind him, shaking his head.

“I think you spelled friend zone wrong.”

“This is a verbal conversation, Bruce.”

“...Fuck you, Barnes.”

Bucky smirked. “Sorry, you’re not my type. I like guys named Sam...” He trailed off, realizing he didn’t know Sam’s last name.

“Wilson,” Bruce supplied. “Also, I believe that would be considered incest, which is gross.”

“Sam Wilson.” Bucky nodded, ignoring the rest of what Bruce said. “Now I have to go find him.”

“You mean stare at him creepily from across the room and refuse to say anything, because you’re a punk bitch ass white boy,” Bruce corrected. He walked away from Bucky, heading down to the engineering room to be with his ‘definitely-not boyfriend,’ Tony. But Bucky knew better. They had _definitely_ fucked in the engineering room at least once.

“Don’t act all high and mighty! We’re both punk bitch ass white boys!” Bucky yelled after him. He rolled his eyes, looking around before striding down the hallway, his hands in his pockets.

Bucky caught sight of Sam _completely by chance and definitely not because he was looking for him_ in the chemistry room. He walked in, making an effort to seem casual as he walked over to the seat next to Sam. “Hey, uh, mind if I sit next to you?” he rushed out, scratching the back of his head and looking down at his feet.

“Hm? Oh, sure. My friend just left, so the seat’s free.” Sam smiled at him and Bucky’s heart stopped. “I’m Sam.”

“Thanks. I’m James, by the way. I go by Bucky.” Bucky sat down next to Sam and pretended to work on the samples that he had no particular interest in.

“Dude, don’t mix those.” Sam reached out, placing his hand on top of Bucky’s to stop him. “That’s hydrogen peroxide and vinegar.”

Bucky looked down at the two liquids, one held in each hand. As far as he knew, they were household liquids, and completely harmless. “And?”

“They create peracetic acid when mixed together. It’s a potentially toxic substance that can irritate the skin, eyes, and respiratory system,” he said, squeezing Bucky’s hand. Bucky felt his face get hot, and set the two flasks full of liquid down.

“Oh. Oops.” He grinned. “Definitely not gonna mix those, then.”

“Hey, Bucky?”

“Yeah?” Bucky perked up at the sound of his name. Sam had to admit that it was kind of cute, even paired with the all-black clothing and combat boots that made up Bucky’s ‘bad boy aesthetic.’

“Why are you really here?” Sam gestured around the room. “No one seems to recognize you, you have no idea what you’re doing, and it’s easy to tell that you’re not a new student like I am. So why come to the chemistry room? What’s so special about it today?” He rested his cheek on one hand, waiting for Bucky’s answer. “Well?”

“I actually. . .” Bucky cursed inwardly. Why was he so obvious? He should’ve just gone to the astronomy room, but he just _had_ to follow Sam like a fucking creep. And he couldn’t tell Sam he was following him like a fucking creep, because he’d never speak to him ever again.

“I just think you’re really cute,” Bucky said out loud, his eyes going wide once the words left his mouth. “Oh shit, did I just say that? Now Sam’s gonna know I have a huge crush on him. I’m such an idiot.” Bucky ran his fingers through his hair.

“You realize you’re speaking out loud, right?” Sam asked. He was grinning at Bucky, and Bucky wanted the floor to open up and swallow him completely. Hopefully, killing him in the process.

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry. You’re probably creeped out or something. I don’t even know if you’re interested in guys. Shit, I’m still talking out loud. Okay. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone forever now.” Bucky made a mad dash towards the door, and Sam caught his hand in a surprisingly strong grip.

“Look. Calm down and walk with me for a little bit, okay? I’m just a guy, Bucky, and you gotta at least let me think about what you said before taking off on me.” Sam squeezed Bucky’s hand, locking their fingers together, and led him out of the room.

They walked in silence, Sam swinging their clasped hands between them. “So, um. . .” Bucky mumbled awkwardly.

“Ssh. I’m thinking.” Sam silenced him, squeezing Bucky’s hand, and Bucky felt like his heart was pounding in his throat. He walked next to Sam in silence, enjoying the warmth of Sam’s hand holding his, and waited.

“Okay,” Sam began, squeezing Bucky’s hand to get his attention. Unknown to him, Bucky’s attention had never left his beautiful face, not for even a second. “First things first, I am interested in guys. Now that that’s cleared up...” Sam pursed his lips. “You’re a little weird, I gotta admit.” Bucky’s shoulders dropped. “But you’re also pretty cute. How about we go see a movie together Friday night, grab a bite to eat afterwards, and see how it goes?”

“Wait. You want to. . .with me?” Bucky asked, looking over at Sam. “I can’t believe I’m so lucky. You’re way out of my league.”

“Stop talking like that, or I might just change my mind.” Sam winked at him. “I’ll see you Friday night. We can go right after school. I don’t have my license yet, so I hope you’ve got some wheels.” Sam let go of Bucky’s hand, kissing his cheek. “Now get out of here. You probably should stay out of the chem lab.” He waved at Bucky as he went back the way they both came, leaving Bucky staring at him as he walked away, his face red and mouth gaping like a fish.

“Yes!” Bucky punched the air, doing a little dance as he kept walking down the hall, heading inside the astronomy room.

* * *

 

“Man, you gotta let me use your car tonight. Come on.” Bucky clasped his hands together. “All I have is my motorcycle, and I don’t want Sam to get his clothes rumpled. I got lucky enough for this actual angel to give me a chance. Please have mercy, I can’t fuck this up because then Sam will never talk to me again and then I’m gonna die. Bruce, please!”

“Dude, you really are in love.” Bruce made a face at Bucky, but held out his keys, anyway. “If it has even a scratch, Bucky, I swear on our mom’s life—”

“Sure, got it. Thanks, Bruce. I’ll let your dad know that you weren’t the one who burned his toupee, and then we can call it even. Deal?” Bucky asked his half-brother hopefully, taking the car keys from him.

“Fuck you, Barnes,” Bruce said, but smiled anyway. “By the way, me and Tony are taking your motorcycle to his place.”

“Oh, you’re such an ass, Banner.” Bucky shook his head. He didn’t want Tony’s itchy fingers anywhere near his motorcycle, but fair’s fair. “I’ll have the car back home in one piece. I promise.” He tossed Bruce his keys, before turning on his heel and seeing that Sam was waiting for him at his locker. He was wearing a short, dark pleated skirt that showed off his amazing legs a red V-neck, a red hat, and prescription glasses that made something in Bucky’s stomach tighten.

Bucky eyed the outfit appreciatively, until he got close enough to examine the skirt closely. “Is that paisley?” he asked, seeing the black and grey pattern on the skirt.

“Yeah. I saw this skirt the other day when I was thrift shopping with a friend. Isn’t it great?” Sam did a twirl, showing off the outfit, and Bucky couldn’t help but smile.

“You know what? You make the outfit. Ready to go?” He held out his arm, and Sam chuckled and held his hand instead.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Sam grinned, following Bucky to Bruce’s car. As always, the car was spotless, but it smelled faintly of the overpriced cologne Bucky knew only Tony wore.

“This is nice,” Sam complimented, coming up to the vehicle and examining the outside. It was a green Ford F-150. Bruce had named the truck ‘The Hulk’ and Bucky was pretty sure Bruce loved the car more than he loved his own family.

“It’s my half-brother’s,” Bucky admitted. “I drive a Harley. The Breakout,” he said proudly, going to the door and holding it open for Sam.

“Thanks.” Sam smiled, seeming pleased with the gesture. Bucky’s cheeks flushed pink, and he looked down, taking a deep breath to remain calm. He closed the door on Sam’s side and got in on the other side, buckling in before starting the truck. “So, I was thinking we could go see one of the original Harry Potter movies? They’re doing a reshowing.”

Sam fixed his glasses, smiling sheepishly. “I’m actually not a Harry Potter fan,” he admitted. _Strike one. Great fucking job, Barnes._ Bucky thought to himself.

“How about Doctor Strange, then? It’s a little trippy looking, but I heard it’s good.”

Sam’s face twisted into a deep frown. “God, no. I’ve had enough whitewashing for a lifetime, and I really don’t want that to ruin our date.” _And strike two._

“How about, um, Nightmare on Elm Street? I’m behind on seeing the new one, but I heard it was really good.”

“Okay. Sounds like a plan.” The smile came back onto Sam’s face, and Bucky sighed with relief, driving them both to the movie theatre. He parked and they walked, hand in hand, inside.

“I’ll grab the snacks,” Sam offered, already looking at the concession stand. “Did you want anything in particular?”

“Just a drink.” Bucky shrugged, digging out his wallet and handing Sam a twenty. “I’ll take lemonade.”

“You don’t have to pay for everything.” Sam frowned.

Bucky shook his head. “Please. I want to,” he insisted. Bucky stood in the back of the ticket line, tapping his feet in a random rhythm while he waited. It took longer than he would’ve liked, and once he was finished he walked over to Sam and carefully put an arm around his waist.

“This way,” Bucky said smoothly, playing it off like he was trying to lead Sam to the right theatre. Sam rolled his eyes at the move, but leaned into Bucky’s touch anyway, popping a gusher into his mouth and taking a sip of the monster-size lemonade he bought. “Here’s your change.” He put the money in Bucky’s pocket.

“Thanks. I think we’re in row ‘D.’ The double seats to the left.” Bucky peered around, looking for the letters. He squeezed Sam’s hip, causing him to emit a small, pleasant noise, and they both made themselves comfortable in the reclining seats. Bucky removed the armrest from in between them and pulled Sam to him, only half paying attention to the movie and mostly just gazing fondly at Sam’s face. He was so in love with him already. He liked his warm smile, his attitude, the way he looked at Bucky and made him feel warm inside.

As they got further into the movie, Bucky reached into Sam’s box and stole one of his gushers, putting it into his mouth.

“Hey, that was my last one,” Sam whispered, pouting up at him.

“Take it from me, then,” Bucky teased, not expecting Sam to actually do anything. His eyes widened as Sam pulled him down and pressed their mouths together, Sam’s tongue moving past his lips and taking the gusher back into his mouth. Sam pulled away, pleased with himself, and Bucky felt lightheaded.

“Yum,” Sam said quietly, grinning at Bucky, and Bucky had to think about dead puppies and his grandma’s naked to calm his body down.

Sam was going to be the death of him.

* * *

 

“Oh. You’re home.” Bruce looked up when Bucky walked through the doorway. “How disappointing.”

Bucky turned toward Bruce, tossing himself onto the couch next to him. “Were you really expecting me to get laid on the first date? Sam’s a classy guy,” he argued, although he couldn’t help but imagine how Sam would look spread out under him.

He’d had sex before, twice, with a guy whose name he couldn’t remember. Bucky had done all the work, but he was a freshman in high school, then. He was a sophomore now, and his standards had raised at least little bit. He definitely would not be sleeping with that guy ever again.

Being with Sam would be much better, without a doubt. Bucky’s fantasy was of him fucking Sam, making his thick, pretty lips fall open in a moan and his back arc up to try and get some skin-on-skin contact. Bucky wanted to cuff Sam to his bed and fuck him nice and slow, until Sam was begging him for more, sobbing with need.

“You gonna tell me about your date? Because you’re giving me some weird looks and it’s making me uncomfortable, Buchanan.” Bruce snapped his fingers, bringing Bucky back down to earth and out of the clouds.

“Sorry. I was just thinking about Sam,” he admitted. “Date was good. He um, kissed me.”

“You got to first base? Nice.” Bruce nodded his head approvingly.

“Sort of? Maybe?” Bucky thought back to when Sam had kissed him in the theatre. “We were, um, cuddling. I stole one of his gushers and it was his last one. He wanted it back and I told him to take it, so he did. With his mouth,” Bucky explained. His body felt hot just thinking about it.

“When’s your second date? I can give you some pointers,” Bruce offered. Bucky raised an eyebrow at him.

“You? When’s the last time you dated?”

“I know what I’m doing, Buck. You want to get laid by the man of your dreams, or not?” Bruce didn’t wait for a response. “Look, you gotta lay the groundwork. Get a feel for the mood, make sure he’s giving you the right signs.”

“Signs?”

“Like intense eye contact. Dilated pupils, licking his lips. . .come on, obvious things. Excessive touching, maybe. These aren’t for sure, but you can try. And if it doesn’t work, and you’re reading the signs wrong, what do you do?” Bruce asked Bucky.

“Back off,” Bucky answered immediately. His brother had taught him that early on. “Ask them what’s okay. Apologize.”

Bruce nodded in approval. “On your next date, if he’s giving you the right signs, try it out. You might get to second base, at least.”

* * *

 

Sam checked his watch, wondering where Bucky was. He was supposed to be here already. It was Bucky’s birthday, and Sam remembered that he was usually at home right around eight, if everything went okay at work. They’d been dating for more than two years now, and after Bucky had found out Sam was a virgin, he’d been handling him with a gentle hand, always stopping them before things got too far.

Bucky was a gentleman, yeah, but Sam was tired of waiting. He’d been testing the waters on his own for a while, trying to figure out what felt good on his own body and what risqué things he enjoyed.

Now, after plenty of self-exploration and half an hour of fingering himself to make sure he was ready for Bucky, he was going to give himself to Bucky for his birthday. He’d rushed Bruce out of the house already, and it was only a matter of time before Bucky arrived. Sam was clothed in spandex shorts that were completely see-through on the sides, so that Bucky could see the white lacy panties underneath.

Bucky had openly admitted to having a thing for them a month ago, and a week ago Sam had finally worked up the courage to buy a few pieces of lingerie and drag Bucky back to his place to show them off. Bucky had been practically drooling as he watched Sam strip for him, and afterwards Bucky had pressed Sam against a wall, kissing him and rolling their hips together in unison until Sam came in his panties.

Maybe Sam should take off the clothes and just wait for Bucky in the lingerie? He’d added a garter belt and stockings to the mix this time, and Bucky would probably appreciate Sam in that and one of his oversized shirts than anything else.

Sam took off the shorts and crop top, pulling on one of Bucky’s shirts just as he heard loud, heavy footsteps heading toward Bucky’s bedroom. Sam hurriedly rushed to Bucky’s bed, sitting down and crossing his legs in what he hoped was a provocative pose.

“Anyone home?” a voice that was very much Bucky’s yelled, before the door to Bucky’s bedroom was opened. “Sam?” he said, his eyes landing on Sam’s face first, before it trailed down. “ _Oh_ ,” he breathed, swallowing hard. “For me?” he asked hopefully.

Sam nodded. “Happy 18th birthday, Bucky.” He gestured for Bucky to come closer. “I’m all ready for you. Now, come open up your present.” Bucky hurried shrugged off his jacket, kicking off his boots before walking over to Sam. He pushed him down onto his bed, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss.

“Best. Birthday. Ever,” he said against Sam’s lips, his hand going under Sam and lifting him up by his ass. He got on his knees, walking them both backward until Sam’s back hit the wall with a soft thud. “I can’t believe this is real. You’re so fucking beautiful, Baby Doll. So damn pretty. You already prepped yourself? Fuck, Baby Doll, you’re so good for me.” He nudged the back of Sam’s panties to the side, running a finger down Sam’s ass and feeling how hot and wet he was. He let out a low moan. “How do you want it, Baby? Want me to give it to you nice and slow?”

Sam shook his head. “It’s your birthday. I want to give you what you want.” He looked toward his left, at Bucky’s bedside drawer. “It’s for us. Open it up.”

Bucky moved back with a hesitant nod, opening up the drawer. He took out two pieces of cloth and a pair of handcuffs, raising an eyebrow at Sam. “Is this what I think it is?”

Sam nodded, opening up his mouth.

Bucky cursed, gagging Sam with the cloth and tying it behind his head before putting the other cloth over his eyes and doing the same. “I love you so much. I can’t believe you’re doing this for me.” Bucky kissed each of Sam’s wrists. “Do you want your hands in front of you, or behind you?”

Sam held out his hand in front of him in response.

“Okay, Sam, Baby Doll. I love you, okay? If you want to stop at any time, just snap your fingers.”

Sam nodded. It felt strange, not being able to see at all, but it wasn’t scary for him. He still felt perfectly fine. Bucky made him feel safe. He knew Bucky would never hurt him.

Bucky inched down the panties Sam was wearing, the front of them stained with precum. “You look so good right now. Can I take a picture of you, like this? Is that okay?”

Sam thought about it for a few moments. It was an arousing thought, but he knew how often photos leaked, and he didn’t want to be seen like this by his grandmother at any point in his life. He shook his head.

“Okay. I understand.” Bucky’s hands went to Sam’s thighs, gently running his fingertips over them before spreading them apart. He felt himself being lifted up, before he felt something hot and pulsing come in contact with his ass. “We got tested together, before. Is it okay if I don’t use a condom?”

Sam remembered. He had insisted on getting tested with Bucky, despite the fact that he’d never been with anyone before him. He’d done it to be supportive. He nodded his head. Bucky’s hands started at Sam’s shoulders, before running down Sam’s chest and then finally wrapping around Sam’s cock. Sam groaned loudly, the sound coming out muffled. He felt Bucky’s cock twitch under him.

“Ready for me?” Bucky asked, thumbing the head of Sam’s cock.

“Mmhm,” Sam said through the cloth, nodding his head once. He felt himself being lifted up once again before Bucky was pushing into him. The sensation wasn’t painful, but it was intense, and Sam emitted a strangled moan from low in throat, his head tilting back and landing on Bucky’s bare chest. Bucky stilled and placed a hand on Sam’s hip, squeezing. “It’s okay, Baby Doll. You’re good. You’re so good, so tight,” he breathed in Sam’s ear, running his hands up and down Sam’s side and kissing his neck. He moved one hand from Sam’s side and held his fingers. “Just squeeze my hand when you’re ready for me to move.”

Sam sighed loudly, lowering himself on his own until Bucky’s cock was fully sheathed inside him. “Nngh, mm!” His legs trembled and he took a deep breath before squeezing Bucky’s fingers.

Bucky placed one hand on each side of Sam’s hips, lifting him up so only Bucky’s tip was inside him before bringing him back down completely, bottoming out inside of him.

Sam let out a tiny squeal, twisting in Bucky’s grip.

“Should I stop?” Bucky asked carefully.

Sam shook his head quickly. He rolled his hips, and Bucky moaned. “Oh fuck.” He moved his hips in unison with Sam, drawing out twin groans from the two of them. He kept a tight grip on Sam’s hips, bouncing him on his cock once they got a rhythm. Sam’s legs started to shake once again, and Bucky wrapped his hand around his cock, stroking him quickly. Sam didn’t know whether he wanted to move back onto Bucky’s cock or forward into his hand. He didn’t have to make the choice, as Bucky started to thrust harder, forcing Sam’s hips to move forward with each thrust. Sam came with a loud, muffled cry, Bucky following him with a few short thrusts.

Bucky lay Sam down on his side, pulling out slowly and taking off the blindfold and handcuffs first. “Happy birthday to me,” he sang, before taking off the gag and giving Sam a long, lingering kiss. “Thank you, Sam.”

“You’re welcome, Bucky. I love you too, by the way.”

* * *

 

“Welcome to my domain, little freshmen.” Sam rolled his eyes as Rhodey set the last box of his and Bucky’s things on the ground. “NYU. Congratulations, you two. You made it.” He gave both Sam and Bucky firm claps on the back.

Sam leaned over and kissed Bucky’s cheek. “We made it together. He’s always been there for me. I’m lucky to have a guy that loves and supports me so much.”

“I didn’t have anything to do it. You were amazing all on your own, Baby,” Bucky complimented Sam. “You motivated me to be my best. I’m so glad you’re mine.”

Sam smiled at him, before looking at Rhodey. “I think we’re good here. I’ll call you, tomorrow, okay? Update you on everything that’s going on.”

Rhodey shrugged his shoulders. “I’m nearby. Don’t call, just come visit me and Monica when you have time.” He walked out of the door, closing it behind him.

“This is crazy.” Sam grinned. “Look at all this stuff. I can’t believe we’re in college, Bucky. Isn’t it great?”

“Yeah, it is. I honestly didn’t think I was college material before I met you, Sam. You’ve made me a better person. I love you.” He wrapped his arms around Sam, kissing him gently. “We should head to bed.” Bucky pulled Sam down with him, both of them falling onto Bucky’s already made bed.

“Classes are tomorrow,” Sam agreed. “Early to sleep, early to rise.”

Bucky directed a toothy grin at Sam. “Who said anything about sleeping?”

* * *

 

Bucky and Sam had always done everything together, ever since they’d started dating. They went clothes shopping together—Bucky letting Sam bring color in his wardrobe but drawing the line at any and everything paisley—they did homework together, and they even fell asleep in the same bed more often than not. They were two halves of a whole.

At least Sam had thought they were, before Bucky met Steve.

_“Hey, I’ve got an intramural debate coming up next week. Are you coming?” Sam had asked Bucky as he brushed his hair, making sure he looked nice._

_“I actually got invited to a baseball game. You know my classmate, Stevie? Yeah, he got two tickets to go see the game against the Dodgers.”_

_“Oh.” Sam frowned. “I just thought you were dressing up to come with me.”_

_“Baby, you know I’ll always support you. I promise I’ll be at the next one, okay?” And he stood up, kissing Sam until he felt dizzy. “For good luck. Love you.”_

_“Mm.” Sam nodded, dazed. “Okay. Next time. Love you too.” Without any argument, he watched Bucky walk out the door._

Bucky had promised to be there for him next time. But he wasn’t there next time, or the time after that, or the time after that. It just became a string of broken promises, followed by a growing feeling of neglect within Sam.

It was always ‘ _Me and Stevie are going to—’_ or ‘ _I would, but Stevie and I gotta—’_ followed by ‘ _I will next time, Baby. I promise.’_

Sam believed him. Every single time, Sam waited, hoping to God that Bucky would prove him wrong. But he never did, and Sam stopped waiting, and instead he started wondering.

_“Bucky, you think I could meet Steve? I’d love to get to know him,’ Sam said offhandedly one day, laying against Bucky’s chest._

Bucky froze.

Bucky froze, and that should’ve told Sam everything he’d needed to know. Turned all his wonderings and suspicions into facts and confirmations.

After a pause that was way too long, though, Bucky responded.

_“Yeah. I think you and Stevie would get along great. Sounds like a plan. When do you want to meet him?” Bucky had asked him, rubbing his back gently._

_“Is tomorrow okay? My classes got canceled, so my day’s free.”_

_“Really? You should’ve told me. We could’ve planned something.”_

_“I thought we were planning something, Bucky. Tomorrow’s our anniversary. I made reservations, remember?”_

_“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I can be forgetful sometimes.” He laughed it off._

Thing is, Bucky wasn’t forgetful. He remembered everything. From Sam’s birthday to the first words Sam said to him and the first time they both said ‘I love you.’ Every last detail. Bucky never forgot anything.

But that wasn’t enough to get Sam to doubt him. Because they had been together for four years, tomorrow. They loved each other. Bucky wouldn’t throw that away for a man he’d just met.

But then, tomorrow came.

* * *

 

Sam spent three hours going from store to store, finding the old vinyl record of Bucky’s favorite album, Dystopia. Megadeth wasn’t a very popular band in their area, so only one records store actually carried it in the entire city.

He’d walked all the way back from the store to their dorm room, unlocking the door and opening it up. “Hey, Bucky, I have a surprise for you!” Sam said excitedly as he closed the door behind him. He turned on the light, dropping the vinyl record, but unable to hear anything aside from his heart shattering.

Bucky was there, alright.

And so was Steve.

In bed. Together.

“Bucky?” Sam’s voice was desperate, begging the sight in front of him to not be real. The two of them were very obviously naked, and Sam covered his eyes. He didn’t want to see this. It hurt too much. This couldn’t be real.

“Sam, you’re here.” Bucky gave him a fake smile, and Steve looked at Bucky like he was insane. “I was thinking we could share him. You know, for our anniversary.” The contacts in Sam’s eyes burned as he began to tear up, and he turned around.

“Sam, wait one second. Don’t go Sam, it isn’t what it looks like.”

“How long has this been going on?” Sam’s voice was thick with tears.

“Sam, please,” Bucky tried. “Just listen to me, I can explain.”

“How long?” Sam said again.

“We’ve been sleeping together for almost a month now, but we’ve been seeing each other longer than that,” Steve answered the question Bucky wouldn’t.

“I can’t believe this. I knew it. I fucking knew it,” he said to himself, his hand resting on a chair. He gripped it tightly in both hands, picking it up and throwing it across the room. They both lunged toward the floor to avoid it. “It’s over, Barnes,” Sam said quietly. He had never felt so stupid and so humiliated in his entire life. “I hope you two are happy together.” He stormed out the room, slamming the door behind him.

He wished he had never met Bucky. He wished he had rejected him the very first time Bucky came up to him, awkward and blushing, during after-school activities in the chem lab.

Sam was full of so much regret. He gave Bucky everything and he just wished he hadn’t.

His first kiss.

His first time.

He’d lost all of that, for nothing. All it had done was lead up to this.

“Shit,” Bucky cursed, picking up the shattered remains of the vinyl record. “. . .I really liked this band,” he said quietly, although that had nothing to do with his disheartened expression.

Steve came up behind Bucky, wrapping his arms around him. “I’ll buy you a better copy of it, don’t worry,” he assured him. “Come back to bed and finish what you started. We’ll clean up later.”

Bucky let out a heavy sigh from somewhere deep in his chest, nodding. “. . .Okay,” he agreed, ignoring the emptiness he felt, and kissed Steve, letting him lead him back to bed.

**Author's Note:**

> [follow me on tumblr if you want!](https://nerdbbks.tumblr.com/)


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